It is safe to assume that I have created monsters. Well, in a sense at least.
It is absolutely astonishing how the majority of us, as children, worked hard. We might have even done without certain things…whether they be groceries from time to time, name brand clothing (or clothing that fit appropriately for that matter), field trips for lack of funds, after school activities because mama doesn’t have the gas to come pick you up afterwards, trips to the movies with friends, a car when you actually turned 16, etc. I could keep going, but I think you get my point. Times were very different for us then, and because we worked so hard and still seemed to have so little…we don’t wish the same things for our children.
So, we do the best we can to make sure that they don’t have to do without things, don’t have to be bullied or picked on because of their clothing, don’t have to worry about working while trying to keep their grades up so they can actually make it into a good college and make something of themselves. Do you know what happens to our children while we are on our mission for them to have it easier than we had it? They get spoiled. They don’t learn the value of the dollar. They don’t learn how hard it is to come by. They do not learn what it is like to be/do without. They become…entitled. They become little monsters.
Somewhere along the way…with a mentality of taking care of and protecting our children from hardships, it makes them candy ass brats. They can’t do this or won’t do that because they might break a sweat in the process or feel like certain jobs are beneath them. Really?? You are a teenager…nothing is beneath you. You have to start at the bottom and work your way up. All the while, I am usually thinking to myself ‘they didn’t get that from me’, but oh yes they did. They might not act like I acted at their age, and I didn’t purposely teach them to behave the way they behave…but yes, I inadvertently did that. I created little monsters.
Listen, I actually believe in the whole ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’. Even knowing and believing in spanking children as I do (and understanding that there is a big difference in spanking when necessary and child abuse), my kids might have gotten a spanking a piece when they were somewhere between the ages of 5 and 10. You know, when they are not quite in the too little to know and understand what they are doing stages anymore and have crossed over to the ‘testing boundaries with mommy’ stages…that is when you have to show them that they should respect and do what mommy says because she actually WILL spank you. Once they understand that it truly is possible, they tend to hear you a little better/respect you more, especially when you get that look on your face or that tone in your voice. So, while I believe in it, I didn’t feel the need to spank them for every little thing…and no, I don’t feel like that is where I went wrong, neither with the spanking or lack thereof.
Have you ever met people that you felt used their children to do every little thing for them? In essence, they were little servants for their parents and you couldn’t help but think that was wrong. It pretty much made the parent just look lazy and just plain mean for using their children in such a way. I’m actually wondering if I should have been one of those people. I actually frown upon the idea…it truly isn’t in my DNA to be that way, but maybe that is where I went wrong. I should have taught them at an early age about chores and what it takes to keep a household running smoothly…and kept at it so it wouldn’t seem like such a burden and chore to them now. However, I am slightly O.C.D. and knew that the children could never do certain things to my satisfaction. I would just have to go back behind them and do it right…so for the most part, I just did it myself. That and the fact that I just kind of felt like it was mommy duties. Man…that mentality sure makes it harder to get anything out of them now. Oh the little monsters.
Now, having said all that I have in this piece…before I leave you I need to say I am currently trying to work on my parental tactics. I hope to be able to administer small doses of reality to them on a regular basis until I turn them back into fully functioning, non-entitled, human beings again. Wish me luck.
My daughter is out on her own now. She is just getting started in this world, just figuring it all out. Since mommy is not in the position to pay her bills as well as keeping up with paying her own, she is learning quickly. My oldest son is my intellectual that feels the need to debate whether certain housework/chores really even need to be done since they will just get messy again, but he is doing much better about just doing what is asked of him and less arguing/debating. My nephew is in the ‘testing me’ stage and his dose of reality is probably closer than he thinks. Now, my two year old, who has been everybody’s world for the last 26 months is definitely spoiled. No worries, since I now know where I went wrong with the older kids, we are already teaching baby boy about chores and will continue to do so. I just pray that we make it through the temper tantrums of the terrible twos.
All in all, I love my little monsters and wouldn’t trade any of them for anything. I realize I have pointed out a lot of true negatives here, but I do have good children that love me as deeply as I love them. However, I believe we should all be very aware of, and feel the need to correct the generation we have generated. This world has enough monsters. Take responsibility and raise beautiful people…and beauty comes from within.